'Well this is awkward...' It is now!I went on a couple of dates with a girl and then we slept together. It was good, but once was enough for me so I haven't been in touch since. She just sent a text saying: "Well this is awkward...". I feel weird because we actually got on well. Maybe I could do a casual thing but she would just get more attached if we carry on. What do I do?!
Ralf
Kevin says...
Well if it wasn't awkward before, it certainly is now she's sent that message. The way I see it you have four options:
1) Tell her the truth, namely that you are no longer interested in having sex with her because you don't like her sufficiently.
2) Tell a slightly different version of the truth, which is that you don't consider her girlfriend material but you could probably provide some casual sex if she fancies it.
3) Ignore her, so as to not upset her by telling the truth (above).
4) Make up an elaborate lie, such as that you had an accident and are now just a head in a jar, and as such not interested in/capable of dating currently.
In many ways, number four is the best option because it's the only way you could completely spare her feelings. But you do leave yourself open to probing follow-up questions that could unravel your story, or worse still she could be overly sympathetic and insist on visiting you and bringing you grapes.
Number three is the easiest solution (for you), which is why eight of 10 cats (by the Keith Richards definition) prefer it.
The other two options are probably the most noble, but they could also be messy as she may call you things like 'bastard'. Although the fact she sent you the "this is awkward" text indicates she is an up-front kind of girl and may appreciate honesty.
Was it really worth sleeping with her once for all this hassle? Course it was.
Christine says...
It was good and you got on well. That sounds awful, no wonder you don't want to see her again. If you knew you didn't really fancy her why did you go on more than one date with her? If it was just for sex then well done, you got that, now you have to be a grown up and deal with the consequences.
I'm going to let you into a little secret, most women won't sleep with a man unless they can see it possibly going somewhere (this can be affected by alcohol levels of course). The only reason they wouldn't want to see you again after sex is because they found it an intolerable experience. This is because, in general, women don't struggle to find casual sex, it is all around them. They can flag down the car that is beeping them in the street, or go home with the drunk IT man chatting them up in a bar, or offer no strings sex to someone they work with. It is very easy for a woman to be easy and for that reason they are normally looking for something a bit more.
She obviously thought you might be a bit more and it turns out you're not. Which will probably leave her feeling a bit rejected and annoyed that you didn't tell her earlier that you thought she was decidedly average, rather than after you'd got what you wanted. Be honest and say you don't think you want a relationship with her so you thought you'd better not waste any more of her time, because that is what you are doing. Or you could try and offer yourself up as being available for casual sex, which really is so very kind of you. And hey, when your black eye has gone down, you'll be free to date again.
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