Dear Lady and The Scamp,

Me and my boyfriend of two years broke up the other day because of his work mates. He said he doesn't want to get back together but we have been sleeping with each other nearly every day since. I asked him what we were and he said we were seeing each other, and that we are boyfriend and girlfriend again, but here is the thing he said he didn't want to tell anyone. Is he using me or is he ashamed of me, are we really together or am I being an idiot?
Kayleigh

Kevin says:

Why did you split up "because of his work mates"? Did he spend too much time with them? Did you sleep with them all? Were you banned by his company for making threatening phone calls to his office? There's no point in asking these questions I suppose, because you're not here. But it's kind of irrelevant anyway because I can answer your question without this extra information: yes, you are probably being an idiot.

You can't have a proper relationship without telling anyone. Not

Dear Lady and The Scamp,

I have been sleeping with this gorgeous guy for a short while and we have the most amazing sex. However, I would like more affection from him (i.e cuddles and kisses) outside the bedroom. I understand this is purely a relationship based on sex and lust. But it doesn't hurt to give someone a cuddle, right?

Sally Jane

Kevin says:

I doesn't hurt to give someone a cuddle but it seems a bit pointless unless they're a close relative or furry. Some people (i.e. girls) like to cuddle for cuddling's sake whereas men only cuddle when it means something.

In this way, male and female attitudes to sex and cuddling are the exact opposite. So, while women prefer sex to be meaningful, many dudes are more willing to insert their penis into a woman than give her an affectionate embrace.

This is partly because men's brains are so advanced that they are able to have sex with girls without forming any emotional attachment — but this power doesn't necessarily extend

Dear Lady and The Scamp,

I met a guy online last month. We met and he seemed genuine and caring. We had (what I thought were) three great dates, conversations every day on the phone and exchanged hundreds of emails. He seemed keen, then all of a sudden nothing! No contact! Is this usual? Should I forget about online dating, or do most men do this when they want to end a relationship?

EA

Kevin says:

Yes this is completely usual, didn't you know? Men prefer to quit casual relationships in the same way they'd leave a Tesco after accidentally knocking a jar of Uncle Ben's Sweet and Sour Sauce off the shelf and leaving a puddle of sweet red gunk spreading through the aisle. Walk sheepishly away, and don't look back.

The reason being, it's easier. If he goes to the till and explains that he smashed a jar of sweet and sour sauce, it will only lead to an awkward — possibly confrontational — exchange. But ultimately it won't save the jar of sauce so what's the point? True, the Tesco staff