YOUR FRIENDS' ACTIVITY

    The Date Doctors
    • I fancy one of my friends. How can I find out if he feels the same without humiliating myself and possibly ruining the friendship?
      Jen

      Kevin says:

      There are three ways you can handle this:

      1. Wait for him to make a move.

      2. Drop some clanging hints you fancy him and then back off if he doesn't take the bait.

      3. Get drunk and tell him.

      Number two is by far the most sensible option. Even if the hint is really obvious, like you stare at his willy for 25 minutes, you can still both pretend it never happened and carry on as before.

      Number three is riskier because friendships are not generally compatible with unrequited fancying. But you needn't be humiliated, as long as you accept it when he doesn't feel the same. Staying friends after that will be quite easy for him because he only sees you as a mate anyway and he'll probably forget your confession eventually... or at least assume the matter is closed.

      [See also: How to tell them you 'just want to be friends']

      The bigger issue is whether

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    • My boyfriend and I have a fantastic relationship and we are very glad we've found each other. The problem is he said he doesn't ever want to get married and I do, in fact I've had my wedding dress picked since I was a child. How can I convince him he's wrong?

      Alice

      Kevin says:
      I imagine you've already tried to convince him, and it hasn't worked, so scrap that. A man will only be persuaded to marry for the same reason he's persuaded to do anything - all his mates start doing it. It's like when they all got plasma screen TVs in 2005. So a better option would be to convince his mates to get married instead. Just gradually try to whittle down his social life to nothing, and then he might consider it.

      Alternatively, respect his choice. He's not "wrong", as you put it, just because his view is different to yours. Constant nagging will only make him less inclined to devote his life to you.

      It's sweet that you picked your wedding dress when you were ickle... at least it probably was at the

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    • I saw in the internet history on my PC that my husband has been looking at porn sites. I couldn't believe it; I didn't think he was into that stuff. Doesn't he fancy me anymore? Should I confront him on it?
      Claire

      Kevin says:
      You're shocked that a man looks at porn? That's like being shocked that a single woman looks at funny cat videos. All men look at porn; doesn't matter if he's Russell Brand or the Dalai Lama. They might not do it every day but they have before, and they will again. So don't take it personally. Otherwise you'll be competing against women with made-up names and fake breasts who exist only on the screen of a laptop. He's not in love with any of them, trust me.

      He obviously never mentioned this hobby before because he thought you'd be upset — and judging by your reaction he was right. So if you do confront him, try to do so in a calm and understanding way. Hopefully he doesn't get flustered and blurt out an embarrassing made-up excuse, like the cat trod on the

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    • My boyfriend and I live together and he's a real mummy's boy. He does whatever his mum tells him and it's starting to affect our relationship. Is this normal for guys and should I say something?
      Athena

      Christine says:

      Oh dear, oh dear. What shall we do with mummy's little soldier? Probably tell him to grow up and stop being such a wuss.
      In a way it's nice that he has such a great relationship with his mum and doesn't just shout 'I'm putting you in a home!' down the phone at her. It's normally girls that are better at ringing their mum and making sure she gets acknowledged on birthdays and Christmases, so it's a good sign that he cares.

      However, some mothers find it difficult to let go when their little bunny-bumpkins moves out, even more so when they shift their affection to another woman. Without getting too Freudian, she's probably a little jealous and likes to still be in control, and he probably likes still getting his pants bought for him and his sandwiches cut into the shape of a

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    • Dear Lady and The Scamp,

      My girlfriend said she'd like me to trim the hair on my private parts. I like it when women are shaved but I think it's weird for a man to do it. Should I?

      Brian Fox

      Kevin says:
      I have long had sympathy for the hairy woman. And by that I mean all of them, as that is how God intended her. It seems harsh the way female hirsuteness has become increasingly outlawed, although I admit I too have been sucked in by this bush-whacking mentality. Whereas in my youth I navigated the bristling wilderness with indifference, it now prompts a raised eyebrow. I have been programmed to accept the notion that women are not allowed hair anywhere except their head.

      But why aren't they? It's merely fashion. And I think it's unfair, and needless. Yet I have remained silent on this issue, until now… now that men are getting dragged into it too. Now I say: enough is enough. It's only hair, it means no harm. And yes Brian Fox, I think it is weird for a grown man to remove

      Read More »from To trim or not to trim?

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