Dear Lady and the Scamp,

I'm friends with a guy from uni and on a recent night out we ended up kissing. The next day I told him I liked him but he got uncomfortable and mumbled something about blaming it on the drink and not being "into the seeing people thing". Now I'm confused about where I stand. I'm happy to be just friends, but how do I get some closure and find out if he really isn't "into the seeing people thing" or just trying to save my feelings?
R

Kevin says:

We often snog people when we're drunk that we wouldn't snog sober. Swathes of the population rely on this rule for their entire romantic existence. There are people who have only have ever snogged drunk. And I'll tell you this: not many of those liaisons led to a relationship.

There are two types of drunken snog: the one with the person you fancy but were too shy to approach sober OR the one with the person you didn't fancy, until you were drunk. Unfortunately, in this case it looks like you're coming from opposite

Dear Lady and the Scamp,

I am 16 years old and about a year ago I joined a new club where I became friends with a girl, who I have developed a strong crush on. But she is 20 years old, has a boyfriend and doesn't appear interested in me. I know that to continue harbouring these feelings would be unhealthy, so please give me some advice on how to get rid of my crush on her.

Chris

Kevin says:

Unfortunately, a crush is not like a mouldy apple or an invitation to William Hague's birthday party. You can't get rid of it just by throwing it out and waiting until the bin men come to take it away. A crush is a living thing; a parasite that will consume you unless you take decisive preventative measures.

The good news is you've already cracked the most important stage: acknowledging that the crush will not be reciprocated. As the saying goes, it's the hope that kills you, rather than the looking at her Facebook photos with your trousers around your ankles. So if you've accepted it will never

Dear Lady and The Scamp,

I've been on four dates with a guy and he's good boyfriend material and good-looking but for some reason I just don't find him sexy. I don't know whether I'm worrying about what others might think, what other relationships I might miss out on, whether he might not like me or whether I've just built up this idea in my head of how I want my boyfriend to be and he's not it. Or maybe I have commitment issues?

Tina

Kevin says:

Four dates in and you've come up with six separate reasons why it's not going to work. That's not a good start. Let's go through them all and see if they're surmountable, in reverse order...

You may have commitment issues
This is irrelevant. You've only met him four times so the only thing you need to commit to is a fifth date at Nando's.

[See also: 10 ways you know he's the one]

He doesn't match up to your ideal boyfriend
Nothing wrong with being fussy, but it means there's no point wasting your time on a guy who doesn't cut the mustard.