Oh brilliant. Valentine's Day is here again. Of all the "Days", this is definitely the worst. Apart from maybe Nutella Day. But V Day comes a close second. This is mainly because there's nothing spontaneous about it — it's forced, which is the antithesis of romance. And I'm not saying that because I'm single - it's the couples I feel sorry for.
Here are seven reasons why it's better to be unattached on Valentine's Day.
What could be more romantic than paying £54.99
for a huge, soft, highly flammable, stuffed beast with a fake heart
stuck to it, and giving it to the person you love? Answer: giving them
£54.99 in cash.
February 14 is the best night of the year to go out and meet someone new. When you see a group of guys or girls in a bar, you can pretty much guarantee that 90 percent of them are available, which makes it far easier to approach them. They are also more likely to be depressed, which might them more sexually suggestible. Also, if you end up staying with this depressed new lover, your anniversary will be 14 February. How lovely.
The only good bit of Valentine's Day is the thing where you send cards to randomers that you fancy. But if you're in a relationship, you can't partake (or at least, shouldn't) because it's technically unfaithful. Singletons like me can join in this exciting custom though. Having said that, I haven't actually done it since I was 10.
If you're in a couple I guess you'll be going for a nice meal out on Monday, won't you? And you'll get to your candlelit table at the restaurant and be surrounded by loads of other couples. So essentially, it's the most romantic day of the year and you're doing something 'special' with the one you love. -and everyone else is doing exactly the same thing! Could there be any starker reminder of how unoriginal and bland you are?
Not buying presents
Getting presents for loved ones can be very rewarding but there's no doubt that it's stressful and time-consuming trying to find something genuinely thoughtful and imaginative. After getting your partner something nice for birthday and Christmas, do we really need all that hassle for a third time?
As you can tell, I don't especially rate Valentine's, even when in a relationship. But try telling that to your missus. All the girls I've been out with place a great importance on 'V Day' so it means I have to make a massive effort and pretend to take it seriously. Annoying.
According to some survey I just read, Valentine's Day costs the average couple £550 (the majority spent by women, who feel the need to buy a new outfit for the occasion). So us singletons pocket about 250 quid to compensate us for missing out on sex. You could buy an adequate inflatable lover for that… err, I assume.
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