The Welsh city of Newport is only really famous for its proximity to a big bridge and this song but now it's reportedly set to make dating history.
According to the South Wales Argus, which I don't normally read, a pub in the town is going to host the UK's first eye gazing night.
Eye gazing is like speed dating but instead of speaking to someone for two minutes, you just silently look into their eyes and work out if you've got a connection. Apparently it's the big thing in dating in America. Well I'd never heard of it. Just because it comes for America, are we supposed to think it's good? I fell for that once with Kellogg's Pop Tarts, these days I'm warier.
For starters, I've been to Newport, and I imagine that if you stared at someone in one of its pubs for two seconds they'd try to hit you, let alone two minutes. The only people in Newport who stare at things for that long have done a lot of drugs, or are sheep. Sheep love staring at people.
"Eye gazing" just seems to be a fancy euphemism for "looking". Or more specifically, "looking at someone to see if they're fit". But you don't need two minutes to deduce that. In fact, I can't think of many things more awkward than staring into the eyes of a stranger for two minutes. It would be weird enough doing it with someone you know.
I also don't believe you can detect a connection with someone just by looking into their eyes. They might have really nice eyes but be an idiot when they open their mouth or any other part of their face.
Speed dating is maligned by some, but eye gazing is surely a stupider idea. It sounds really boring, apart from anything else. And it's going to cost a fiver to get in! I might put on one of these nights myself, or something similarly bonkers. A few ideas off the top of my head...
Blind snogging
This self-explanatory night is similar to eye gazing, but swaps the sense of sight with that of feeling.
Chair sitting
This is where you sit in a series of chairs recently vacated by the members of the opposite sex. If you get a pleasant feeling while sitting in any of the chairs, it means you love its previous occupant.
Draw a date
You draw your ideal partner using crayons and give the sketch to an independent adjudicator, who walks around the pub and decides which person best fits your portrayal. Then you are allowed to kiss them.
iPod jumble
Everyone throws their iPod into a box and you go through looking at each other's music taste. If you like it, you will like them.
Dad swap
You go out for a pint with the dads of prospective partners and if you end up getting off with the dad, it means you will also probably want to get off with their son/daughter.
That'll do. Admittedly, I haven't tried eye gazing so I don't know what I'm talking about really. But if anyone knows of any of these events in London, let me know and I'll go and take a look...