My date with Monica got off to a bad start — for her.

We were both standing outside Angel tube station, not knowing what the other looked like, when I sent her a text saying I was next to the bank.

I then watched an attractive leggy brunette, phone in hand, make a sheepish beeline for a nearby gentleman who was taller, younger, cooler and more handsome than me.
I could see what was happening but it was too late for me to stop her and the guy brushed her away dismissively. Then she turned and saw me bounding towards her, grinning.

I was never able to recover from the disappointment she clearly felt at that moment.

To be fair to her though, her chagrin was barely detectable - she was positively charming.

And so was I. Often when faced with very hot women I get tongue-tied, but for some reason on this occasion I was in great form — or at least what I thought was great form.

We sat down to get a drink and I could barely keep the smile off my face. This was easily the nicest-looking woman

Among the various seedy tasks incumbent on the dating blogger is trawling the internet looking for quirky sites that might be worth testing out and writing about.

A few months ago, I found one such site. It was called Find Your Face Mate and its unique matchmaking shtick was that of bringing together partners with similar facial features. Humans are naturally drawn to people who resemble themselves, apparently.

It sounded a bit arrogant, not to mention creepy, to want to go out with someone who looks like you. But then again I'd been on various dates with girls I considered uglier than me, so maybe this would at least be a step in the right direction. I uploaded my face and awaited the deluge of hot lady Dan-a-likes.

[Related article: Why online dating is so addictive]

Two weeks later, I received an email: Dan Juan, you have a new FaceMatch!

I logged on, excited to see a) if the girl was hot and b) if she actually did look like me. I was surprised at my match's identity for two

Two weeks ago to improve my success with the ladies, I came up with some failsafe answers to questions I commonly get asked on dates. This week, as promised, I have switched roles and devised some good questions to ask. Their purpose is to find out if a girl is really "the one".

I devised this cunning list by thinking of the things I really wanted to know, then translating them into questions I could ask in a natural and nonchalant manner.

Real question: Would you mother my children proficiently?
Question asked: "What did you have for breakfast?"
Before you can look after babies, you should be able to look after yourself. So if she ate something nutritious with sunflower seeds and blueberries, I will be encouraged. But if she ate a bag of Skittles at her desk at 11.25am and then subsisted on coffee until lunchtime, I'd keep my sperms away from her eggs. Incidentally, eggs would be a perfectly acceptable answer to this question.

Real question: Can I trust you?
Question asked: "Could you